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Consent - did I take the right approach???

  • 11-12-2017 1:11am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    I went out last night by myself. I was sipping a pint while looking at the TV for the most part. A couple of people came and went by the table I was sitting at. I acknowledged them but didn't really talk to them. I wasn't really in the mood for interacting with people to be honest, sometimes I can be like that. One girl asked me "Are you okay?". I assured here I was fine, not a bother. About an hour later a different crowd sitting at the table were moving on to go to a nightclub and one girl said that she wanted a hug. I asked her "are you sure?" She just shouted "yes" and put her arms around my neck. But the people at the next table (a group of girls), I heard one of them say "What the fcuk?!?!?!" and another person (a guy) said "why didn't you just drop the hand?". The girl behind the bar who knows me very well said that what I did was a very sweet thing to do. I think I handled the situation in the right way, but I can't get why other people thought I should have acted differently. Any ideas?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,845 ✭✭✭✭Tom Mann Centuria


    What was a sweet thing to do? I have no idea, sorry.

    Oh well, give me an easy life and a peaceful death.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    What was a sweet thing to do? I have no idea, sorry.

    Me asking her whether or not she really wanted a hug


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,198 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    e3efbe832b6d49e3fa41ff3e76a0721a---problems-totally-me.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,845 ✭✭✭✭Tom Mann Centuria


    Me asking her whether or not she really wanted a hug

    Right, it was certainly polite, so that's good.

    Oh well, give me an easy life and a peaceful death.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,941 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    This whole #MeToo PC debacle is getting out of hand dude!

    To thine own self be true



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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,371 ✭✭✭TheChizler


    Are you saying you asked for consent to hug her after she asked for a hug or feel she should have asked for consent?

    Either way you may be over thinking this...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    TheChizler wrote: »
    Are you saying you asked for consent to hug her after she asked for a hug or feel she should have asked for consent?

    Either way you may be over thinking this...

    Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,562 ✭✭✭ahnowbrowncow


    Sounds like you could be in trouble so I'd hide low for awhile. And buy yourself a fake moustache.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,592 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    This is a disturbing read.. I clicked here looking for your typical late-Sunday-night consent thread by a creepy one-post-Dec-2017 OP, not whatever this is


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    She's probably pregnant now after that sensual hug and will trap you in a life of indentured servitude.

    Run like fuck. Go to South America. Go to Patagonia and raise Lamas.


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 17,642 Mod ✭✭✭✭Graham


    Double opt-in consent for a hug???

    *shakes head*


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    Graham wrote: »
    Double opt-in consent for a hug???

    *shakes head*

    Its all a bit 2017


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,100 ✭✭✭Oldtree


    Did you get the consent in writing? ;)

    And that consent witnessed?

    And signed in the presence of a lawyer?

    While both parties were in their right minds?

    Happy Christmas


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,289 ✭✭✭dresden8


    If she had taken any alcohol you have actually raped her. You should report yourself to the police.

    No point in asking for consent off somebody who was in no fit mental state to give consent.

    You are a monster.

    You disgust me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    Oldtree wrote: »
    Did you get the consent in writing? ;)

    And that consent witnessed?

    And signed in the presence of a lawyer?

    While both parties were in their right minds?

    Happy Christmas

    It wouldn't matter, if she decided to make a complaint there is a cohort of 'listen and believe' people out there who will automatically take the accusers word as gospel anyway.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,100 ✭✭✭Oldtree


    backspin. wrote: »
    It wouldn't matter, if she decided to make a complaint there is a cohort of 'listen and believe' people out there who will automatically take the accusers word as gospel anyway.

    Maby, but it wouldn't stand up in court if all the above are adhered to :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,221 ✭✭✭✭ Ingrid Delicious Scholar


    If you don't have it in writing, it's not consent. It doesn't matter if she instigated it and you double checked before she threw her arms about you. You are bad OP and you should feel bad...







    Sarcasm, sarcasm everywhere...


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,812 ✭✭✭✭Del2005


    If she had alcohol on board she couldn't have given consent and since you had alcohol on board neither could you. Both of you are reprehensible people.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,549 ✭✭✭enfant terrible


    burnsey1987 killed a guy

    You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to

    Your Man of the Year Award is in the post.


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,592 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to

    Would you describe it as a chore hug?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭burnsey1987


    Would you describe it as a chore hug?

    I didn't really want to do it initially but I was glad that I went along with it


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Pretty sure that's literally rape. According to some women anyway. Life has gotten confusing in the last couple of years.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,159 ✭✭✭mrkiscool2


    I'd also get yourself checked man, some horrible HTI (Hug Transmitted Infections) going about. Influenza is a b!tch, not even a prescription for it or anything!


  • Registered Users Posts: 852 ✭✭✭blackdog2


    "why didn't you just drop the hand?"

    The meat of the post is always hidden in plain sight


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,570 ✭✭✭Ulysses Gaze


    Expect to see this outside your door OP

    simpsons-movie-mob.jpg?quality=100&w=645


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,350 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Happens to me all the time.
    Generally when I've been drinking too , then I notice Mrs Corners has my wallet in her hand.
    Always my fault too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,537 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Louise O'Neill has officially just begun her latest book now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,167 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    Not all heroes wear capes.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 32,877 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    I went out last night by myself. I was sipping a pint while looking at the TV for the most part. A couple of people came and went by the table I was sitting at. I acknowledged them but didn't really talk to them. I wasn't really in the mood for interacting with people to be honest, sometimes I can be like that. One girl asked me "Are you okay?". I assured here I was fine, not a bother. About an hour later a different crowd sitting at the table were moving on to go to a nightclub and one girl said that she wanted a hug. I asked her "are you sure?" She just shouted "yes" and put her arms around my neck. But the people at the next table (a group of girls), I heard one of them say "What the fcuk?!?!?!" and another person (a guy) said "why didn't you just drop the hand?". The girl behind the bar who knows me very well said that what I did was a very sweet thing to do. I think I handled the situation in the right way, but I can't get why other people thought I should have acted differently. Any ideas?

    You drop the hand and you'll be reading about it beside a #metoo. You just know it'll go down like that...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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