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Looking for advice on how to speak to a 3 year old

  • 19-02-2019 2:34pm
    #1
    Lambay island
    Registered Users Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭


    My 3 year old boy is currently in Montessori and recently there has been a change in his behaviour. The teacher has informed us today that he has had two accidents in the last two days where he has wet himself and he has been intrusive and almost physical with other kids in recent days also which is out of character for him. We had recently been told he was very mixing more with other kids in a positive way.



    He has been toilet trained for a year but has recently had accidents at home also. He seems to be holding and almost refusing to go to the toliet. We never previously had to ask him or anything to use toilet as he would direct this himself without issue.



    Now, there is a 3 month old new addition to family so I believe this can be quite common behaviour when a new child arrives in the family. I understand what a big change it is for him to have a new sibling. H ehas started to act out a bit at the baby too.


    He is definitely more anxious with going to school and in general situations also. There also has been a change in one of the teachers recently which hasn't helped the situation in my opinion, as now home and school has changed to what he knew.



    I'm basically looking for advice on how to talk to him and how to approach the subject without been too negative and making it worse for him. Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,891 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Well....you could maybe take him out somewhere, just you, and see can you open a conversation by saying something like "it's hard to be a big brother, isn't it...babies take up a lot of mammy and daddy's time, don't they".....maybe see the response you get?Try to empathise with him instead of telling him outright what to do?Deal with one thing at a time, and maybe the others will right themselves.I'd say you're right, it probably is the change that causing it.

    Have you got any books on being a big brother, or having a new baby?They can help.


  • #3
    Marz66
    Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭Marz66


    This is a really good article
    https://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/04/helping-kids-adjust-to-life-with-the-new-baby/

    Re new baby and probably new teacher too, I found all the tips in the article really useful but another useful thing I found is that you can’t fix this for your child in one conversation. It’s a grieving type process that they go through. It could take up to 6 months before your oldest is used to the new situation.
    But you can be there for them, give them as much one on one time as possible and try and put some words on what they might be feeling. Eg it’s tough having new baby needing to be fed/crying all the time isn’t it.
    Or a good one we found is baby’s too small for this toy/story, would you like to play/listen?


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