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When you piss do you...

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2

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    #32
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    You have to let the gents out for a bit of air where available. It'd be cruel not to, their monocles would be all fogged up.


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    #33
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Penn wrote: »
    Wait... take your balls out too?

    I mean, I've genuinely never thought of doing that but now I want to go for a p*ss just to try it...

    Here's another question; you go to the toilet for a p*ss, there are other people in nearby rooms... P*ss around the bowl to minimise noise or directly into the water?

    Yes. But sometimes I'll piss directly into the water, with as much pressure as I can muster, to assert some type of piss dominance.


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    #34
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    thelad95 wrote: »
    As someone who's always prone to a sneaky glance at other gentlemans business at urinals

    I hate these weird c--ts.


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    #35
    Four Phucs Ache
    Registered Users Posts: 1,017 ✭✭✭Four Phucs Ache


    At home....sit down.

    In work/public quiet..urinal.

    1.unzip
    2.take out lad
    3.leave the grapes inside
    4.wiggle a bit to minimise garden/zip incident
    5.let it flow with a good push at the end
    6.shake till dry.
    7.shake again to be sure
    8.lock it up
    9.wash hands

    In work/public busy....stall

    1.use pinky to open/close door
    2.take out lad
    3.leave the grapes inside
    4.wiggle a bit to minimise garden/zip incident
    5.aim for the edge of the bowl near the water so others don't hear me using a stall just for a wee
    6.shake a bit, finish with tissue
    7.use pinky to open the door.
    8.wash hands


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    #36
    Sue Pa Key Pa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,060 ✭✭✭Sue Pa Key Pa


    fermanagh_man wrote: »
    How many times do you shake the lad when your done?

    I've heard there's a limit

    As many as Fr. O'Brien can manage


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    #37
    satguy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭satguy


    Leave the twins alone, I keep them indoors at all times and have as little to do with them as possible.

    Two shakes no tissue, with regards to the rest...


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    #38
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,223 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Gunslinger92 wrote: »
    I love this thread :pac:

    You taking the piss?


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    #39
    A Battered Mars Bar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 419 ✭✭A Battered Mars Bar


    My scrotum droops down to my knee's so I leave them in.


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    #40
    Donald Trump
    Registered Users Posts: 19,057 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I peed outside in a field many years ago. The grass tickled my lady parts. It was kinda nice and kinda strange.

    You think that's nice? Just wait til someones gives you my patented "grab her by the pussy" trademark move :pac:


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    #41
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users Posts: 11,758 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    I've to pull the trousers and jocks down, lean forward about 45 degrees and then piss. It's because of my small mickey. I'd pi55 on myself if I did it any other way.

    Or else I could sit down and pee, but that'd be just weird.


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    #42
    Ted111
    Closed Accounts Posts: 990 ✭✭✭Ted111


    Penn wrote: »
    Here's another question; you go to the toilet for a p*ss, there are other people in nearby rooms... P*ss around the bowl to minimise noise or directly into the water?

    Directly into the water. Accompanied by a few audible sighs and groans of satisfaction.


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    #43
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    Haha this thread is funny, so I'm following for the badly needed laughs :D

    As a lady, there is one incontestable truth.... The very moment you squat for an open air pee in the middle of the back end of nowhere, a farmer will appear beside you.


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    #44
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »
    Haha this thread is funny, so I'm following for the badly needed laughs :D

    As a lady, there is one incontestable truth.... The very moment you squat for an open air pee in the middle of the back end of nowhere, a farmer will appear beside you.
    Has that actually happened to you?


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    #45
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    Has that actually happened to you?

    On countless occasions. I'm a hippy, after all :)


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    #46
    Temptamperu
    Registered Users Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    I sit down to pee so it all comes out but no-one can see.


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    #47
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »
    On countless occasions. I'm a hippy, after all :)
    Ah scarlet for ya. Did you try and make conversation after/during.


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    #48
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    MeatTwoVeg wrote: »
    Unbelt, unbutton, remove meat and two veg..

    I find it gives me a better empty of the tank.
    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    Yes that's my feeling to, that it facilitates a more thorough drainage.

    You don't store piss in your balls lads.


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    #49
    Penn
    Registered Users Posts: 33,232 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    Okay, just tried the balls-out method.

    Not a fan. Firstly, only got one ball out. Then the band of my boxers was squishing the one left behind. Secondly, getting him back in was unnecessarily troublesome. Bearing in mind, this was all through the fly of my trousers. I think the only way to properly do it might be to fully unbelt, unbutton and let everything loose.

    Nah, f*ck that sh*t. That's too much hassle. I'll just air my balls out at home like I normally do.


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    #50
    thelad95
    Registered Users Posts: 7,812 ✭✭✭thelad95


    Those who just slip the knob out through the open fly are asking for trouble when putting Roger back in his cage, be it dripping or the dreaded foreskin in zip situation.


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    #51
    Penn
    Registered Users Posts: 33,232 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    thelad95 wrote: »
    Those who just slip the knob out through the open fly are asking for trouble when putting Roger back in his cage, be it dripping or the dreaded foreskin in zip situation.

    Nah, sure it has to go back in to the boxers before you zip.


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    #52
    Fleawuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,681 ✭✭✭Fleawuss


    Classic AH. A technical and nuanced analysis of an extremely complex operation. The technical vocabulary itself makes the thread worthwhile. There's a Pee H D in it for someone.


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    #53
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    gramar wrote: »
    You don't store piss in your balls lads.

    No, you don't store piss in your balls. The rest of us can do what we like.


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    #54
    Agricola
    Registered Users Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Always take my balls out to get better drainage. They are like absolute melons after a few pints..........full of piss they are....:confused:


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    #55
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users Posts: 16,273 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    I'm not seeing the advantage of getting the balls out, you won't piss any more by doing it.

    Most memorable occasion regarding pissing outside was years ago coming back on a bus journey from a match the kidneys weren't long filling up from the beer that was consumed about an hour earlier so the driver pulled up on the hard shoulder and the road was dark yellow by the time 40 lads were finished.


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    #56
    NickNickleby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭NickNickleby


    Tilikum wrote: »
    Just Wilbert, the bag stays tucked away.

    Another thing, I physically cannot piss at all anymore if there is a man at the urinal beside me. It's gone beyond stage fright at this point.

    Don't you mean ANOTHER man???:D:D:D


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    #57
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    NickNickleby wrote: »
    Don't you mean ANOTHER man???:D:D:D

    Why, does he piss all right when you're at the urinal beside him?


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    #58
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    Birneybau wrote: »
    So, this is where we are now.

    It's a bit below the belt in fairness...



















    :pac:


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    #59
    NickNickleby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,813 ✭✭✭NickNickleby


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    Why, does he piss all right when you're at the urinal beside him?

    I don't know, I'm too busy trying to piss, while there's a man at the urinal beside mine


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    #60
    Padre101
    Registered Users Posts: 470 ✭✭Padre101


    Lad and balls both out, it improves fluid flow dynamics.
    As for outdoors, I used to live in a house with one jax between six people so I sometimes resorted to the back garden.


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    #61
    MilesMorales1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    Not when I'm standing at the urinal. ****ing effort like.


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