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Too anxious for creche?

  • 28-01-2019 4:44pm
    #1
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭


    Has anyone gotten to the point where they had to say crèche wasn't for their child?
    My LO has been in crèche for over a year now. He took a good while to settle in but had been getting on great. If he was off for any amount of time eg. holidays or long weekends he would be a bit clingy but be back to normal after a day or two.
    However since Christmas he has been crying every morning when I drop him - to the point he makes himself vomit. He is very clingy at home but normally he loves crèche and would run in there and not even look back at me.
    It's so upsetting to have to leave him there crying hysterically and trying to grab at me. The girls in there used to say he would be fine after a few minutes but lately he just doesn't want to be there at all. I get the impression now he is hard work for them and this upsets me even more.

    I cant afford to give up work as much as id love to. Has anyone else experienced this and was it just a phase or did you have to find an alternative form of childcare?


Comments

  • #2
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,891 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    How old is he? And is there anything going on or that might have happened there that upset him?
    We went down the childminder route because I felt creche wasn't for our eldest.There were different reasons, but I just knew in my heart it would be overload for her.Not every child suits the group childminding situation, and don't feel bad about that.


  • #3
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    One of my lads did this for a while after a break in attending creche. He'd cling onto my leg or whatever, crying etc.

    One of the workers there would pick him up and comfort him, and they told me it never lasted more than a few minutes after I had left.

    He's running in the door now, can't wait to go. So, i think it might have been the certainty of being at home for a bit, then heading back to creche, where the cuddles, attention etc weren't as freely available, that was putting him off


  • #4
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Is he around 18 months by any chance? There is a huge developmental leap with loads of separation anxiety etc around then.


  • #5
    neris
    Registered Users Posts: 20,031 ✭✭✭✭neris


    How many days a week is he in creche or what kind of times does he do?


  • #6
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭LouD2016


    bee06 wrote: »
    Is he around 18 months by any chance? There is a huge developmental leap with loads of separation anxiety etc around then.

    Hes 20 months but I def think he going through a bit of a 'leap' - hopefully it is just a phase as he is there fulltime so its not like the whole thing is new to him!


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  • #7
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭LouD2016


    neris wrote: »
    How many days a week is he in creche or what kind of times does he do?

    He's there 5 days a week and from 8am until around 4ish


  • #8
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,003 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    How is he in the evenings when you are picking him up?


  • #9
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭LouD2016


    GreeBo wrote: »
    How is he in the evenings when you are picking him up?

    In fairness most evenings he is ok. Some evenings ive noticed that he is just sitting on the minders lap or in a room just with her and not playing with the other kids. I do think she dotes on him a bit too much sometimes and whne she isn't there in the mornings its extra hard to get him to go in.


  • #10
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    LouD2016 wrote: »
    He's there 5 days a week and from 8am until around 4ish

    I gave up work and moved back down the country because of this 20 years ago. Only sensible desicion I ever made in my life. You need to have a serious family meeting about what to do next.


  • #11
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭LouD2016


    splinter65 wrote: »
    I gave up work and moved back down the country because of this 20 years ago. Only sensible desicion I ever made in my life. You need to have a serious family meeting about what to do next.

    Really?? I did delay on going back to work a few weeks when I had him because I knew he wasn't ready.
    Only think I worry about keeping him at home (either with myself or a minder) is will that make things worse...like he wont be mixing with any kids day to day. Will that be detrimental long term when it's time for playschool or primary...


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  • #12
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,069 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    LouD2016 wrote: »
    Really?? I did delay on going back to work a few weeks when I had him because I knew he wasn't ready.
    Only think I worry about keeping him at home (either with myself or a minder) is will that make things worse...like he wont be mixing with any kids day to day. Will that be detrimental long term when it's time for playschool or primary...

    Did he move from one room to another ? They move them at that age into Wobblers ? My grandaughter cried for weeks when they moved her . It took reassurance and lots of patience but she settled again and was happy again . Mind you her process was slow as she only went one day a week


  • #13
    LouD2016
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 229 ✭✭LouD2016


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    Did he move from one room to another ? They move them at that age into Wobblers ? My grandaughter cried for weeks when they moved her . It took reassurance and lots of patience but she settled again and was happy again . Mind you her process was slow as she only went one day a week

    No still in the same room so that's another challenge ahead - never even thought of that :(
    I know change is all part of life and obviously they need to learn this and learn to adapt but its just so hard seeing them upset when they are that little.

    Can you tell he is my first child :D Maybe im just worrying too much!!


  • #14
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,069 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    LouD2016 wrote: »
    No still in the same room so that's another challenge ahead - never even thought of that :(
    I know change is all part of life and obviously they need to learn this and learn to adapt but its just so hard seeing them upset when they are that little.

    Can you tell he is my first child :D Maybe im just worrying too much!!

    Aw no we mams worry about all of them and its never easy to leave a crying child
    Hug him , reassure him , tell him he is the best boy and praise him . He is prescious and he will be fine in a while . And not everyone can up sticks and move to the country !


  • #15
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,891 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Won't be detrimental to him OP, but will it be detrimental to you?You are a person too.


  • #16
    Hani Kosti
    Registered Users Posts: 270 ✭✭Hani Kosti


    LouD2016 wrote:
    Hes 20 months but I def think he going through a bit of a 'leap' - hopefully it is just a phase as he is there fulltime so its not like the whole thing is new to him!


    Oh the dreaded leap of doom. I'm not saying it's only that but my girl was absolute disaster for about two week. All those Cs - cranky, clingy, crying. Hang in there, this too shall pass.


  • #17
    s4uv3
    Registered Users Posts: 952 ✭✭✭s4uv3


    LouD2016 wrote: »
    Really?? I did delay on going back to work a few weeks when I had him because I knew he wasn't ready.
    Only think I worry about keeping him at home (either with myself or a minder) is will that make things worse...like he wont be mixing with any kids day to day. Will that be detrimental long term when it's time for playschool or primary...

    Not at all :)
    I'm at home with my two (23m + 9m) and the older one has no issue mixing. I bring her to a couple of playgroups a week, and we visit friends with kids etc. She's no more clingy or shy than any other kid her age.
    We went to look at a playschool last week, and I had to drag her out of there (literally) when it was time to go. I reckon by the time it comes time for her to go to playschool she'll be well sick of me and mad for other kids' company.


  • #18
    threescompany
    Registered Users Posts: 98 ✭✭threescompany


    I certainly don’t think kids are any less sociable if they are minded at home full time, in my personal experience. My wife took a career break until my youngest was in Playschool ... we sold the car so no added expenses, cut back on luxuries and by the time we’d have paid child care it nearly balanced out. She also Minded another child & we made it work. It was a family choice & She says she has zero regrets. They kids were with her everyday but of course met up with friends, playgrounds & got out and about to shops, library , parks etc. they don’t need friends 10 hours a day at that age. Now they are at school & the most social kids I know. We were hearing stories of people that were stressed with Creche issues every few weeks. It’s worth considering but I appreciate not always something everyone can do.


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