What is the best advice you have ever been given?

facehugger99 · 22-02-2019 1:24pm

Mantis Toboggan wrote: »

If you're not in your car you'll be in your shoes, if you're not in your shoes you'll be in your bed.

You could be in the swimming pool or just wearing your socks at home watching Netflix.

hullaballoo · 22-02-2019 1:34pm

When I moved out of home for the first time, some oul lad in the pub said this to me. And it's genuinely the best, most practical and reliable advice I've ever gotten from anyone. It always sticks out when these threads come up.

It's inarguably brilliant advice, not like some of the platitudes and truisms you always get that purport to be sage advice. The kinds of guff you see on those "motivational" memes by your least successful (whatever definition you give it) facebook friends.

It's advice you can live by no matter how rich or poor you are, where you are in the country, what you do for a living or who you're riding.

And people will always be grateful you followed it.

And people will always be thankful you told them...

Buy a plunger before you need one.

jmayo · 22-02-2019 1:43pm

Father used to say

"Don't be sorry, be sensible"

Others from flying:
"Three things useless to a pilot, the sky above you, the runway behind you and the fuel on the ground."

"Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.
Any landing after which you can use the airplane again is a great landing."

"There are old pilots and bold pilots but no old, bold pilots"

heldel00 · 22-02-2019 1:49pm

A favourite of my father, who is a very careful driver-
Better Heldel be late than be the late Heldel.

Bigbagofcans · 22-02-2019 2:29pm

Advice: Something which we give by the bushel but take by the grain.

robinwing · 22-02-2019 2:36pm

corner of hells wrote: »

If it's got tits or tyres , it'll give you trouble at some stage.

thanks so much for this I laughed my ass off.... a classic !

partyguinness · 22-02-2019 2:37pm

There's a few:

#1 Work: The first last and only rule: Cover your ass

#2 Footballing days: When in doubt kick it out. "They can't score from the field next door." Jack Charlton was the Irish manager at the time so route one was en vogue.

#3 "He who hesitates masterbates'

7 Seconds... · 22-02-2019 2:46pm

I have a few

You're not dead, till your dead.

Believe none of what you hear, half of what you see & somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

There is three sides to every story, yours mines & the truth.

Love yourself first.

The people that matter don't mind & the people that mind don't matter.

Bigbagofcans · 22-02-2019 2:47pm

Don't get married before you have lived together for a few years. (For some, they shouldn't get married at all.)

funk-you · 22-02-2019 2:47pm

'If a job is worth doing, it's worth being paid for'

'Believe half of what you hear and you'll only ever be half wrong'

-Funk

Grayson · 22-02-2019 2:59pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Don't get married before you have lived together for a few years. (For some, they shouldn't get married at all.)

Don't get married before you're 30. You can meet someone and fall in love. But if you get married you'll get a mortgage and have children. Spend your 20's having fun and travelling the world because you wont get a chance to later. And if you meet someone, bring them along on the adventure.

TLDR: enjoy each stage of your life and don't be in too much of a hurry to move onto the next part because you can't go back.

IrishAlice · 22-02-2019 3:13pm

Be yourself for better or worse.

facehugger99 · 22-02-2019 3:27pm

Better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it.

crank_1975 · 22-02-2019 3:37pm

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!

facehugger99 · 22-02-2019 3:48pm

Don't make eye-contact with anyone if you're eating a banana.

bullpost · 22-02-2019 3:49pm

Run.

partyguinness · 22-02-2019 4:12pm

Stare straight ahead at the urinals. Count the tiles if you have to.

emeldc · 22-02-2019 4:21pm

Never give your dog something to eat that you wouldn't eat yourself

ginandtonicsky · 22-02-2019 4:55pm

"Have the epidural"

Sky King · 22-02-2019 5:03pm

If you want to wow people at dinner parties with an amazing scooby doo impression, simply replace the first letter of each word in the sentence with an 'R', when speaking.

facehugger99 · 22-02-2019 5:03pm

Nuke the entire site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

Sky King · 22-02-2019 5:04pm

heldel00 wrote: »

A favourite of my father, who is a very careful driver-
Better Heldel be late than be the late Heldel.

A variation of 'no point in being dead on time' which is something an oul wan in a petrol station said to me when i pulled in frantically asking for directions.

ceekay74 · 22-02-2019 5:05pm

Sky King wrote: »

If you want to wow people at dinner parties with an amazing scooby doo impression, simply replace the first letter of each word in the sentence with an 'R', when speaking.

Rif roo rant roo row reople rat rinner rarties rith ran ramazing rooby roo rimpression....

It works!

DEFTLEFTHAND · 22-02-2019 5:27pm

Never buy a French car.

busymum1 · 22-02-2019 5:50pm

A few wise words that actually stuck..
You're no better than anyone else but you're no worse than them either.
Don't both work full time when your children are small.
Live together before you get married.
Better to be on the land wishing you were out on the water than on the water wishing you were on land.

upinsmoke · 22-02-2019 5:52pm

emeldc wrote: »

Never give your dog something to eat that you wouldn't eat yourself

What?

Undividual · 22-02-2019 6:00pm

Size doesn't matter.

*sobs*

partyguinness · 22-02-2019 6:01pm

Undividual wrote: »

Size doesn't matter.

*sobs*

Just tell them you have a fast ass.

Undividual · 22-02-2019 6:03pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Just tell them you have a fast ass.

Not just a fast ass!....

*sobs*

xabi · 22-02-2019 6:08pm

Always rinse the bowl after eating weetabix. The bowl you used to eat it that is!

What is the best advice you have ever been given?

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