Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience? Mod warning in op - updated 6/3/18

Options
1…1718192123

Comments

  • Options
    #602
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    @robarmstrong, your story is more common than you think and all too often the accuser is not outed. At least in your case she was outed and I'm delighted that she was.

    Sorry what for you had to go through though.


  • Options
    #603
    Capone79
    Registered Users Posts: 101 ✭✭Capone79


    robarmstrong wrote: »
    When I was younger I was at a house party and got absolutely p1ssed, I really shouldn't have but sure look we all do stupid stuff when we were younger.

    This particular house party nearly cost me everything and often left me contemplating suicide. Basically I went upstairs to one of the rooms to lie down (as ya would when your head is spinning!!!) and I was followed upstairs by a girl who'd been eyeing me up the whole night. So I wake up in the middle of her bouncing away on top of me (bit graphic sorry) and I was literally too drunk, too tired and too groggy to do anything so I just let it happen... bad move because she ended up actually having a boyfriend who found out about it (he was a scumbag, one of those fools that walk around with knives on them and just cause trouble everywhere).

    So she threw me under the bus and told everyone that she didn't cheat on him, that I raped her and from that point onward my life became quite literally, hell. I had no problem with people coming up to me and trying to start a fight because I was more than capable of defending myself but when it really sunk in it hit me harder than anything, people thought I was a rapist, teenagers, adults, friends, etc. This went on for quite a few months until eventually she let it slip in an argument with her fella that she wasn't raped, she just ****ed me to spite him.

    In fairness to him, despite his scumbaggery ways, he did everything in his power to undo the damage she did, he told as many people as he could that she lied about what I did and shortly afterwards nobody believed a thing she said and well I was cleared of it all.

    Guess she was the true scumbag rather than him.

    Wow, what a horrible filthy slapper, hope she dies of aids. You were lucky ya weren’t seriously injured over it.


  • Options
    #604
    LilRedDorcha
    Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭LilRedDorcha


    Nothing as bad as a lot of the stories here, but a few minor experiences. Had the usual ass grab but I fight back. You grab me, I punch you. Don't give a **** if that gets me kicked out.

    Working in a hotel in Fuerteventura was awful. I eventually moved my name badge to somewhere near my stomach because otherwise the filthy old men would run their finger across it to "read" my name because it was near my boobs. I also had some attempted ass grabs from the pervy old men. I was 19 at the time.

    While working there I had a lad stalk me for the 2 weeks he was there. Following me home, trying to find out my number and address, etc. I told my manager and his response was to tell me to take one for the team and give the guy a blowjob since we were getting reviewed by the guests. That was horrible.

    I think the one that hurt the most was a friend of mine. I was rebounding after a breakup and we'd sometimes shift each other. One night he put his hand down my pants and ignored me when I told him to stop. I had to say it so many times and even nearly shout it before he stopped. I felt sick and was shaking straight after but still kissed him goodbye because I was afraid of making him feel bad. I quickly got over that and tore in to him via text about how scummy that was. He apologised and seemed genuine but I've never really forgiven him.

    Again, none of mine are that bad but the fact that this is normal isn't ok.


  • Options
    #605
    Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Without wanting to take this thread off track (it's been an insightful, upsetting and eye opening read), we wanted to post an update to the posts below.

    You will find that update here.
    whoopsadoodles wrote: »
    I've had plenty of men "try it on" that I had zero interest in but only two experiences stand out as bad.

    One, where I was in a bar in Galway and a guy put his hand up my skirt and grabbed me. I instinctively punched him in side of the head. He seemed shocked I hadn't enjoyed it.

    Another time I was at a boards beers, a fellow mod was filming my legs. When caught, he informed me that I wasn't to worry, that he wouldn't post it in After hours and it was only for him. He was removed by security. There had been a few witnesses. Absolute creep of the highest order. Sickened that he still posts here from his promoted position. Scumbag.
    Boards.ie: Niamh wrote: »
    Hi all,
    I wanted to acknowledge that we are aware of the issues raised in this thread and we are investigating.

    This is being taken seriously, but we need to inform ourselves before we make any decisions.

    Thanks.

    How can I? User's guide to some features on the new site



  • Options
    #606
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Boards.ie: Niamh wrote: »
    Without wanting to take this thread off track (it's been an insightful, upsetting and eye opening read), we wanted to post an update to the posts below.

    You will find that update here.
    Are we allowed discuss this anywhere? You said at the time you guys felt it was a dead issue but another C'Mod quit over the promotion. Seems like a contradiction :confused:


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #607
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Totally unsatisfactory imo. Because all parties had gone quiet it was okay to promote such a person.

    Jesus.


  • Options
    #608
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Is the person involved still a CMod? If so why??


  • Options
    #609
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users Posts: 30,224 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    Can we please keep this thread reserved for the experiences that are being share.d


  • Options
    #610
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    How can you say you fully stand over a procedure if no further contact was made with the person who made the complaint?


  • Options
    #611
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,498 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    How can you say you fully stand over a procedure if no further contact was made with the person who made the complaint?

    Exactly!
    Its basically a verbose piece of B.S outlining why Boards were justified in doing nothing, but now that its a hot button topic...
    They have put in place an "action list" for any future similar complaints.

    As noone shouted loud enough at the time, it was ignored and seemingly will continue to be.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #612
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Very disappointing to see this well like and respected poster has closed her account.


  • Options
    #613
    Trigger Happy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,077 ✭✭✭Trigger Happy


    If that happened at a work party and the person admitted it, you can be sure that the person would not have been promoted to a position of higher responsibility.


  • Options
    #614
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    How can you say you fully stand over a procedure if no further contact was made with the person who made the complaint?

    I just realised...

    Niamh:"When one of the parties was subsequently nominated for CMod, the issue was flagged but it was noted that it had been dealt with by the Community Manager and all parties had been silent in relation to it for some time, so there was no reason to believe it remained a live issue at that point."

    But didn't this happen just a week or two after the complaint was made? So all parties were silent for approx 1-2 weeks, no further contact was made with the user and that is fully stood over by you? There's no issue with that? "so there was no reason to believe it remained a live issue at that point"

    Hard to fathom.


  • Options
    #615
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Big Nasty wrote: »
    Very disappointing to see this well like and respected poster has closed her account.

    I can't believe that either. Disgraceful.


  • Options
    #616
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    Trigger Happy wrote: »
    If that happened at a work party and the person admitted it, you can be sure that the person would not have been promoted to a position of higher responsibility.

    Wait now.

    Who admitted what exactly?


  • Options
    #617
    Trigger Happy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,077 ✭✭✭Trigger Happy


    Buford T. Justice V wrote: »
    Wait now.

    Who admitted what exactly?

    They did not admit it despite other mods witnessing it and getting kicked out of the bar by the bouncers? Sorry, picked it up wrong.


  • Options
    #618
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    Trigger Happy wrote: »
    They did not admit it despite other mods witnessing it and getting kicked out of the bar by the bouncers? Sorry, picked it up wrong.

    Look it, I'm just aware of a mob mentality starting here. A public lynching, while providing succour to a mob, doesn't guarantee that justice is done.

    A small number of people at the top of this community are privy to the whole story here, I'm certainly not one of those.

    They have made a decision based on ALL the information so that's good enough for me. Unless more information come to the fore, I'm pretty content with the decision.

    Disclaimer-I have no connection or contact with either party to my knowledge so I have no skin in this game at all. But if posters want to hang someone publically, they had better have all the information readily to hand, imho


  • Options
    #619
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Is the person involved still a CMod? If so why??

    Why are you assuming guilty? Do you have all the facts? I don't, that's for sure, so I'm curious.


  • Options
    #620
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Buford T. Justice V wrote: »
    Look it, I'm just aware of a mob mentality starting here. A public lynching, while providing succour to a mob, doesn't guarantee that justice is done.

    A small number of people at the top of this community are privy to the whole story here, I'm certainly not one of those.

    They have made a decision based on ALL the information so that's good enough for me. Unless more information come to the fore, I'm pretty content with the decision.

    Disclaimer-I have no connection or contact with either party to my knowledge so I have no skin in this game at all. But if posters want to hang someone publically, they had better have all the information readily to hand, imho

    There's no-one been lynched here because the perpetrator has not been named. The person who experienced this who was a long term well liked and respected member of boards has however been named and basically dismissed, despite other people witnessing the incident including other mods.

    So maybe it's you who should have all the info at hand before you go accusing others of things.

    Next thing that will happen here is the thread will be closed or infractions or bans will be dished out because there's a mod involved.

    In fact without going into any detail I have already been targeted.

    Very typical.


  • Options
    #621
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Skylinehead wrote: »
    Why are you assuming guilty? Do you have all the facts? I don't, that's for sure, so I'm curious.

    See my post above. I believe the direct testimony of two well respected boards members including a mod.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #622
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Skylinehead wrote: »
    Why are you assuming guilty? Do you have all the facts? I don't, that's for sure, so I'm curious.

    I think the fact that the original account was backed up by others present speaks for itself.


  • Options
    #623
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    pilly wrote: »
    There's no-one been lynched here because the perpetrator has not been named. The person who experienced this who was a long term well liked and respected member of boards has however been named and basically dismissed, despite other people witnessing the incident including other mods.

    So maybe it's you who should have all the info at hand before you go accusing others of things.

    Next thing that will happen here is the thread will be closed or infractions or bans will be dished out because there's a mod involved.

    In fact without going into any detail I have already been targeted.

    Very typical.
    To be fair it’s been like Chinese whispers and I’ve personally heard of two cmods who it supposedly was. I have no interest in knowing who it was, but there’s at least one person having their rep dragged through the mud when it wasn’t him. That’s not on either.


  • Options
    #624
    godtabh
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 23,204 Mod ✭✭✭✭godtabh


    pilly wrote: »
    There's no-one been lynched here because the perpetrator has not been named. The person who experienced this who was a long term well liked and respected member of boards has however been named and basically dismissed, despite other people witnessing the incident including other mods.

    So maybe it's you who should have all the info at hand before you go accusing others of things.

    Next thing that will happen here is the thread will be closed or infractions or bans will be dished out because there's a mod involved.

    In fact without going into any detail I have already been targeted.

    Very typical.

    She raised it herself in what appears to be an attempt to whip up the mob. She raised this else where in another thread without the same language/impact


  • Options
    #625
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,498 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    godtabh wrote: »
    She raised it herself in what appears to be an attempt to whip up the mob. She raised this else where in another thread without the same language/impact

    Whip up the mob?
    Seriously?
    The poster shares an experience that was corroborated on a thread asking people to share such experiences.
    There was no effort to whip anything up.
    Quite frankly, that response is laughable.


  • Options
    #626
    Buford T. Justice XIX
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    pilly wrote: »
    There's no-one been lynched here because the perpetrator has not been named. The person who experienced this who was a long term well liked and respected member of boards has however been named and basically dismissed, despite other people witnessing the incident including other mods.

    So maybe it's you who should have all the info at hand before you go accusing others of things.

    Next thing that will happen here is the thread will be closed or infractions or bans will be dished out because there's a mod involved.

    In fact without going into any detail I have already been targeted.

    Very typical.

    The former mod in question wasn't 'named', they posted the allegation.

    And if the alleged perpetrator of this incident, who was also a mod, was well liked and respected and also had people backing up their version of events, should they be summarily dismissed because you chose to believe their version over the other?

    Indeed, I have no idea, but maybe there was as much or possibly even more support for alleged perpetrators version of events. Is it just your judgement that needs to be trusted or is any credence to be given to others who may have a different version of events and who were actually there?

    I intensely dislike lynchings.


  • Options
    #627
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    giphy.gif


  • Options
    #628
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I think the fact that the original account was backed up by others present speaks for itself.

    Lets just say that all parties in this case are biased. We've discussed this in greater detail in the mod forum, and I still can't say I'm in possession of all the facts. You on the other hand seem to have made up your mind with considerably less information.


  • Options
    #629
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Skylinehead wrote: »
    Lets just say that all parties in this case are biased. We've discussed this in greater detail in the mod forum, and I still can't say I'm in possession of all the facts. You on the other hand seem to have made up your mind with considerably less information.

    Do you think the OP lied in her account then?


  • Options
    #630
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Do you think the OP lied in her account then?

    Eh? I didn't insinuate that at all. I said I don't have all the facts and you extrapolate that from my post?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #631
    erica74
    Registered Users Posts: 2,619 ✭✭✭erica74


    Not telling anyone what to do (I note there are mods involved in this discussion) but this discussion is really dragging away from the thread topic, which is to post about unwanted experiences...


Advertisement